Feeling good today, I am ready to go back to school, as bad as that may sound. I has riding home last night and was listening to uncle johns band (phil lesh and friends) with my eyes closed. The jam was so psychedelic, I was visioning amazing visions and vibrant colors morphing like a kalidescaope. The images were just flowing so smoothly but they were all so complex, I could see these collages, but if I tried to zoom in with my minds eye, my mind would "overheat" and I couldnt do it, it was too much to handle. Overall, it was an amazing expirience, and I wasnt tripping or stoned, which made it even better. Ive been learning to have awsome visions without the aid of drugs.

peace out

I've been reading "Mind Wide Open" by Stephen Jackson. This book provides me with so many insights its amazing. The book describes how our minds our essentially chemicals being fired, and our point of views change by the moment. What I have learned is that earth is always the same, and it all remains the same no matter what mood your in.

The earth tells its tales,
your mind takes it as its own,
the present shapes its every move,
behind the chemicals,
its the same old stories,
taken in often different ways,
confusion boggles like an overclocked drone,
I try to organize its novels,
waisted time,
im so good at that,
dont be the translater anymore,
take it as it is,
the way the earth wants it to be,
live this life and be free.

I saw a polaroid moment today where I got an intense surge of energy.
I was driving to work early in the morning and I looked to my left and saw the sun creeping over the hoprizon and it shined on the cyrus clouds that hover beneath the atmosphere. At the same time the lake was steaming after the cold air it spent the night with. It was the start of something beautiful and I fealt revived, I wish i had a polaroid for moments like these. Absolutely beautiful and uncomprehendable, even for the visioners eyes of the mind. I love moments like these, for they bring much joy.

"If sympathy were physical, Id fill you chalice with mirth." ~One of my stupid quotes.

Im enjoying watching the remaining dew say its last goodbyes to the lush green earth before it fills the sky with a heavenly cloud.
Nomadic crickets chirp in sync,
creating a beautiful rhythm ,
making my heart just sink.
Thats the opposite feeling i get when you turn me down,
you stop my rhythm,
make me frown.
Its as if i need you,
you are my drug,
physically addictive,
i think thats calld love.
Looking at a forest,
your the tallest, greenest tree.
So strong and bold, you set my mind so free.
Free from the captivity it usually resides,
up up and away, no more disguise.
With you I'm me,
like a winged nuthatch,
flying free.
I know theres many fish in the see, I just wish you could be with me.

I had a dream last night about an insect that looked like an ear of corn. It had a spinner and was doing these crazy psychadelic patters with its silk. It was moving it around in the air and my attention was grabbed. then dreamed of me waking up and asking if it really happened. I dreamt of dreaming, and it was very insane. The power of the mind is amazing, especially in moments such as those.

I love life and I love all these little games in it, I want to express myself more and not be so up tight about the way i look.

Peace out.

Remember, "you are the eyes of the world." ~GD

Hello,

I bought a digital voise recorder yesterday and thought it would be a
good idea to record some of my thoughts/problems and then play then and
see how it would work. I shall say, i was amazed at how differently i
tackled the problems after hearing them, they were coming through
another passage that my defense was not ready for. I could handle them
with much more reason then before, and in the long run, this recorder
has had substantial benefeits.



"walk through splintered sunlight, inch your way through dead dreams to another land...

maybe your tired and broken, your tongue is twisted with words half spoken and thoughts unclear..." ~Grateful Dead



I meditated last night for like 30 minutes, and when i opened my eyes
back up I was seeing very differently, patters were forming on my
ceiling and I began to tell stories about what i saw and recorded them
all...VERY trippy i must add. My main concern was to overcome this sort
of social anxiety i have been feeling all my life, today at work I was
much more open and understanding them before. I initiated conversations
and cracked jokes as if it were nothing. I am degreasing this slime
that I bear and soon will be "slime" free... when that day comes,
Its gunna be fuckin sweet.



ps - did I mention that i love life!! Everyone looks at the same sky, and everyone walks on the same earth.

Hello, Today I am extremely confused. No matter how hard I try to do things I want, I get pulled away by an outer force, a force I cannot identify or see. It is extremely powerful and I can not find its weakness. I cant wait till I go back to school and talk to counselors. This life is short and im not doing things I want too, and I dont know why. Very frustrating, I hope I can exape one of these days.